I couldn't wait for last year's 28 Years Later to end. I was disappointed when this one did, as another half-hour or so would've been totally fine by me.

One can only hope that director/co-writer Johannes Roberts' Primate remains the worst 2026 horror flick to feature a previous Oscar winner. It should be said, however, that Troy Kotsur, who earned a deserved Best Supporting Actor trophy for 2021's CODA, is the finest thing that could've happened to a dopey, rather repugnant shocker about a chimp gone ape.

Thanks for turning my favorite movie of the year – of many, many years – into the financial, cultural, and awards-season behemoth it's become.