"Happy Holidays, Shawn!"
"Happy Holidays to you, Mike. What do you need?"
"Well, for a change of pace, I thought I'd hand-deliver the next issue's What's Happenin' pages to you and your graphic-design interns! Hope you don't mind!"
"Uh ... well, no, but - ."
"As usual for our last issue of the year, we're devoting the What's Happenin' section to all of the information we have - as of press time - about what venues will be hosting bands or karaoke or DJs on December 31!"
"Sure ... ."
"The info should easily cover the two-page spread, because in addition to photos, we'll be including information on what's being performed where and at what times, and what sorts of New Year's Eve treats folks can expect: food, drink specials, party favors, balloon drops, champagne toasts, and all that jazz!"
"Uh huh ... ."
"We'll also be supplying the venues' addresses, phone numbers, and Web sites for added convenience! And because there will, of course, be an online version of the print article, we'll be able to update our listings about New Year's Eve happenings at RiverCitiesReader.com right up until that very evening!"
"That's all great, Mike. But why bring this to me? Doesn't Jeff see these articles before I do?"
"Usually he does, but ... well ... ."
"He's still upset about last time, right?"
"Yeah."
"When you gave him the article and then sprayed him with champagne?"
"Yeah."
"At 8:30 in the morning?"
"Yeah."
"In front of his daughter?"
"Oh, she was four. How traumatized could she be?!"
Everyone on the River Cities' Reader staff wishes you and yours a very safe and happy New Year! See you again on Thursday, January 9!
Blue Moose Tap House (211 Iowa Avenue, Iowa City, Iowa): Rich Rok's New Year's Eve Dance Party, 9 p.m., no cover, (319)358-9206, BlueMooseIC.com.
Brady Street Pub (217 Brady Street, Davenport): Open Jam with the Harris Connection, 9 p.m., (563)323-1700.
Circa '21 Dinner Playhouse (1828 Third Avenue, Rock Island): Remember the King with Robert Shaw & the Lonely Street Band, 7:30 p.m. doors, 8-9 p.m. buffet, 9:15 show, $40-82, party favors, champagne toast, balloon drop, (310)786-7733 extension 2, Circa21.com.
Col Ballroom (1012 West Fourth Street, Davenport): The Tailfins, 7 p.m. ribeye-steak dinner, 9 p.m. music and dancing, $35/dinner and music, $15/music only, (563)322-4431.
Creekside Bar & Grill (3303 North Brady Street, Davenport): Karaoke Night, 8 p.m., (563)324-4619, CreeksideBar.com.
Daiquiri Factory (1809 Second Avenue, Rock Island): Chuck Murphy, 9 p.m., (309)786-1017.
The Edje Nightclub at Jumer's Casino & Hotel (777 Jumer Drive, Rock Island): Gray Wolf Band, 9 p.m., champagne toast, no cover, (800)477-7747, JumersCRI.com.
11th Street Precinct (2108 East 11th Street, Davenport): Tronicity, 9 p.m., champagne toast, no cover, (563)324-9545, 11thStreetPrecinct.com.
Englert Theatre (221 East Washington Street, Iowa City): The Fez, 8:30 p.m. $20-25, (319)688-2653, Englert.org.
Gabe's (330 East Washington Street, Iowa City, Iowa): House of Large Sizes, Dylan Sires & the Neighbors, Death Ships, Sweet Chariot, 9 p.m., $15, $100 VIP tickets, (319)354-4788, ICGabes.com.
Hillsdale American Legion (402 Main Street, Hillsdale, Illinois): DJ Night, 8 p.m., (309)658-2220.
Hotel Blackhawk (200 East Third Street, Davenport): Cosmic, 7 p.m., hors d'oeuvres, hosted bar champagne toast, $125, (888)525-4455, HotelBlackhawk.com.
Iowa City Yacht Club (13 South Linn Street, Iowa City): Dead Larry, Item 9 & the Mad Hatters, Zeta June, Fire Sale, Das Thunderfoot, The Savage Hacks, 9 p.m., $10, (319)337-6464, IowaCityYachtClub.org.
Jake O's Grille (2900 Blackhawk Road, Rock Island): Glenn Hickson, 5:30 p.m., no cover, (309)788-5636.
Jammerz Roadhouse (3729 248th Street North, Hillsdale, Illinois): The Old 57's, 9 p.m., (309)523-3940, JammerzRoadhouse.com.
Martini's on the Rock (4619 34th Street, Rock Island): Franti Project: The Music of Michael Franti & Spearhead, 10 p.m., party favors, champagne toast, (309)732-1631, MartinisOnTheRock.com.
Me & Billy Restaurant & Bar (200 West Third Street, Davenport): Tim Stop, 4 p.m., no cover, DJ Twisted, 9 p.m., all you can eat and drink, $50 & up, (563)323-1195, Facebook.com/MeAndBillyKitchenAndBar.
The Mill (120 East Burlington Street, Iowa City): Wylde Nept, 4 p.m., $10, DJ Night, 9 p.m., champagne toast, no cover, (319)351-9529, ICMill.com.
Mound Street Landing (1029 Mound Street, Davenport): Corporate Rock, 9 p.m., party favors, champagne toast, no cover, (563)323-1200.
The Muddy Waters (1708 State Street, Bettendorf): The Candymakers, 9:30 p.m., party favors, drink specials, champagne toast, no cover, (563)355-0655, TheMuddyWaters.com.
Ohnward Fine Arts Center (1215 East Platt Street, Maquoketa, Iowa): Joseph Hall's Elvis, 7 p.m., $15-30, (563)652-9815, OhnwardFineArtsCenter.com.
Quad-Cities Waterfront Convention Center (1777 Isle Parkway, Bettendorf): Whiskey Medicine, 8 p.m., country-music contests, prize giveaways, $15, (800)843-4753, TheIsleBettendorf.com.
Racers Edge (936 15th Avenue, East Moline): Flash Point, 9:30 p.m., black-light party, pizza, hors d'oeuvres, drink specials, champagne toast, $5, (309)755-8131, https://www.facebook.com/
Rascals (1414 15th Street, Moline): Cody Road (Rascals Stage, 9 p.m.), Lynn Allen (Rascals Live Stage, 9:30 p.m.), pizza, party favors, champagne toast, balloon drop, $20-25, (309)797-9457, RascalsMoline.com.
The Redstone Roon (129 Main Street, Davenport): The Giving Tree Band, Frank F. Sidney's Western Bandit Volunteers, 9 p.m., appetizers, party favors, $15-20, (563)326-1333, RiverMusicExperience.org.
Rhythm City Casino (101 West River Drive, Davenport): The Fast Clydes, 11:30 a.m. and 5 p.m., Terry Lee & the Rockaboogie Band, 8:30 p.m., (800)724-5825, IsleOfCapriCasinos.com.
RIBCO (1815 Second Avenue, Rock Island): 3 Years Hollow, Aterra Tale, Motorciscuit, 8 p.m., party favors, champagne toast, $8-10, (309)793-4060, RIBCO.com.
Riverside Casino & Golf Resort (3184 Highway 22, Riverside, Iowa): Polyester Blend, 5 p.m., Night People, 9:30 p.m., champagne toast, (319)648-1234, RiversideCasinoAndResort.com.
The Rock Grille & Bar (4619 34th Street, Rock Island): Whoozdads? Featuring Ellis Kell, 6:30 p.m. surf-and-turf dinner, 8 p.m. music, $35, $50 VIP tickets including hors d'oeuvres, champagne toast, (309)732-1631.
Rozz-Tox (2108 Third Avenue, Rock Island): NYE 2014 Record Party with Live DJs, 9 p.m., $5, (309)200-0978, RozzTox.com.
Rustic Ridge Golf Course & Pub (1151 East Iowa Street, LeClaire, Iowa): The Acoustic Project, 8:30 p.m., drink specials, party favors, balloon drop, champagne toast, no cover, (563)285-8119, GolfRusticRidge.com.
The Rusty Nail (2606 West Locust Street, Davenport): North of 40, 9 p.m., party favors, champagne toast, $10-12, (563)386-1900, NewRustyNail.com.
Shannon's Bar & Grill (252 South State Avenue, Hampton, Illinois): Moonshine Run Lock-in Party, 10 p.m., $40-50 includes food, beverages, party favors, champagne toast, $10 designated-driver service, (309)755-4140.
Steeplegate Inn (100 West 76th Street, Davenport): Funktastic Five, 9 p.m., champagne toast, $15-25, (563)386-6900, BestWestern.com/
The Torchlight Lounge (1800 18th Avenue, East Moline): Karaoke Night, 9 p.m., (309)752-7777.
Van's Pizza, Pub, & Grill (3333 North Harrison Street, Davenport): DJ Night, 9 p.m., drink specials, party favors, champagne toast, (563)386-0090, VansPizzaPub.com.
