11 Aug 2013

Air, Sea, and Land Travels: "Planes," "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters," and "We're the Millers"

By Mike Schulz

PlanesPLANES and PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS

From a grown-up's perspective, I guess that as far as family entertainment at the cineplex goes, Disney's animated Planes and the mythology adventure Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters could both be considered "harmless." But can you really apply that adjective when something, in both movies, is indeed being killed - namely, your time?

04 Sep 2012

"Get the Hell Out of Me!": "The Possession," "Lawless," and "Celeste & Jesse Forever"

By Mike Schulz

Jeffrey Dean Morgan in The PossessionTHE POSSESSION

The new horror thriller The Possession is about a little girl who requires an exorcism to remove the evil dybbuk inhabiting her body, and it opens with a title card informing us that the film is "based on a true story." You know what I'm aching to see one of these days? An exorcism-themed entertainment that isn't based on a true story. Can you imagine how much fun these things could be if we weren't consistently asked to believe in them?

18 Jun 2011

Emerald Rhymes-with-City: "Green Lantern," "Mr. Popper's Penguins," and "The Art of Getting By"

By Mike Schulz

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in Green LanternGREEN LANTERN

I won't bore you by trying, but I'm reasonably sure I could devote a few thousand words to what I didn't like about the (presumed) franchise-starter Green Lantern, an effects-heavy superhero adventure that might mark a new first for the on-screen-comic-book canon: Director Martin Campbell's movie is dully sardonic and dully sincere. I only need two words, however, to pinpoint everything I loved about the film: Peter Sarsgaard.

18 Apr 2011

A-Stabbin' the Dorks: "Scream 4," "The Conspirator," "Soul Surfer," and "Your Highness"

By Mike Schulz

Neve Campbell in Scream 4SCREAM 4

Directed, as all of the franchise's outings have been, by Wes Craven, and written by Kevin Williamson, Scream 4 is a sequel, a reboot, and a big middle finger to reboots, all in one bloody, meta, mostly tedious package. It opens beautifully and features a bunch of (mostly verbal) horror-comedy pleasures, yet its overall effect is wearying; Craven and Williamson are so focused on deconstructing the genre - the Scream series in particular - for a media-soaked, hipper-than-thou young audience that even its "surprises" are in quotation marks. Watching Scream 4 is like watching a movie with its commentary track running before you've had a chance to experience the film without it.

10 Oct 2010

Bringing Up the Rearing: "Life as We Know It," "It's Kind of a Funny Story," "My Soul to Take," and "Secretariat"

By Mike Schulz

Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, and Alexis, Brooke, or Brynn Clagett in Life as We Know ItLIFE AS WE KNOW IT

For whatever else it is, the romantic comedy Life as We Know It is certainly the year's most inaptly titled movie, since it doesn't present a version of life as anyone would know it.

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