26 Mar 2002

Paradigm Shift

By Garry Lee Wright
"Got a second, Brad?" "Sure, Biff." "Step into my cubicle. And say hello to our new senior vice president, Buzz Brindle." "Hello, Buzz." "What's up, Brad? I like your glasses.
19 Mar 2002

School-Closing Task Force Mired in Confusion

By Jeff Ignatius
A task force appointed by the Davenport Community School District (DCSD) met for the first time on March 14, and if the job it faced seemed daunting before - exploring all options for alleviating the district's budget deficit and completing a report by April 15 - it looked even more massive afterward.
19 Mar 2002

Hues in the News: FAQs

By Garry Lee Wright
Last week, Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge announced a new color-coded system for terrorism alerts. We asked Deputy Under Assistant Acting Media Spokesperson Marty "Mort" Ackerman for details. Q: No offense, but government people seem like a bunch of gray old bureaucrats.
05 Mar 2002

Nine Zeroes and a One

By Garry Lee Wright
Housing starts were up last quarter, which is good news for everyone who's been living on canned soup and sending their résumés to Monster.com. Economists say that signals the beginning of the end of the recession, which is just in time.
26 Feb 2002

Don't Impreza My Vitara, You Prius

By Administrator
As if the economy, the Enron debacle, and those crooked Olympic judges weren't enough, there's another crisis brewing: We're running out of macho names for cars. It's been happening over the past few years.
19 Feb 2002

Filibusters

By Garry Lee Wright
"Will the Senator yield?" "No, I will not yield. The whole idea of a filibuster is to keep talking until everybody gives up. Didn't you take any history courses in high school?" "You can't kill this campaign-finance-reform bill, Mitch.
12 Feb 2002

Man to Man

By Garry Lee Wright
"Grandpa, can you help me? Dad's playing golf and Mom's at kickboxing." "Go ahead, shoot. Did I ever tell you about the time I met Wilt the Stilt?" "It's not about sports." "Car running okay? The internal-combustion engine is the most infuriating thing known to man, and I do mean man.
29 Jan 2002

School Board Has Only Itself to Blame for School-Closing Disaster

By Jeff Ignatius
It was almost like the old movie cliché: the packed public meeting at which angry and emotional townspeople give passionate, eloquent speeches that convince the council to Do the Right Thing. But Monday's meeting of the Davenport school board didn't end with a dramatic tie-breaking vote and the cheers of hundreds of people.
29 Jan 2002

Lawsuits Gone Wild

By Garry Lee Wright
Good morning, your honor. I represent the plaintiff in this matter, Becky Lynn Gritzke." "Very well. Proceed." "Your honor, as you may have read in the papers, we are suing the producers of Girls Gone Wild.
22 Jan 2002

Gas and Oil

By Garry Lee Wright
"Good morning, The White House." "Yeah, it's Ken Lay from Enron. Lemme talk to the president." "Who?" "Kenneth Lay. L-A-Y. I'm on a pay phone, sweetie. Chop-chop." "I'm sorry.

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