Editor's Note: The two articles that follow have been making the rounds on the Internet. While their exact origins aren't known, the second has been circulating for a long time and was supposedly a radio editorial in Canada.
There will be many thoughtful columns, articles, and books written about the events of September 11, 2001, so the following won't count for much. If you'd prefer to skip it altogether, that's understandable. As I write, it's been less than 24 hours since the first reports.
Published May 22, 2001 in the Los Angeles Times Enslave your girls and women, harbor anti-U.S. terrorists, destroy every vestige of civilization in your homeland, and the Bush administration will embrace you.

Hooked

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"All right, children, settle down. I know it's been a long summer, but we need to get back to work now. Everyone turn down your voice-simulation devices and reconnect your seating modules. And Tommy 2X, stop eating that semiconductor paste.
Q: I sure like Al Gore's new look. In all the latest photos, he's wearing a beard. What's the inside story? A: This bold move was suggested by the Democratic National Committee, which hopes voters won't recognize the former vice president, thus giving him a fresh start for 2004.
All of Us Deserve River Renaissance by Phil Yerington Congratulations to the people of Davenport, Scott County, and the entire Quad City area! The Vision Iowa Board has committed $20 million to the revitalization of downtown Davenport.
"Welcome to another edition of Larry King Live. Tonight our special guest is The Man Who Won't Go Away, Bubba the Baby Boomer, the Kahuna of Controversy, the Guy You Hate to Love and Love to Hate, that dashing former president of the United States, Bill Clinton.
"All right, let's get this over with. As you know, my name is Skip Kovacs, and I have a long history in successful tabloid journalism. That's why they just hired me to take over as editor of this newspaper. So, starting today, we're going to put some real pizzazz into print.
Relations between journalists and the subjects about whom they write feature an inherent tension. As journalists, we're asking sources to take time out of their schedules to talk with us when the results are uncertain: They don't know whether we'll write something glowing or damning about them.

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