Garsh … so many thoughts on a live-action Disney reboot that, in all honesty, is barely worth a single thought. In honor of the support staff whose collective moniker has been dumped from the original Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs title, here are a septet of paragraphs on director Marc Webb's and screenwriter Erin Cressida Wilson's Snow White, accordingly themed to each individual Dwarf.

“You know which reviews of yours I really like?” asked a friend not long ago. “The short ones.” Taking that as a compliment for my more succinct pieces and not as the insult it almost certainly was, here are 300-word takes on the half-dozen movies I saw between Thursday and Sunday. They're presented in order of viewing, and preceded by five-word synopses that might, in effect, provide greater impetus to see or ignore said films than the subsequent wordage ever could.

I may not have understood all the machinations involved in bringing our aquatic hero back safely, but I believed that Last Breath's helmer and cast knew what they were doing, and in the end, that was far more important.