17 Aug 2014

They're Getting Too Old for This S--- : "The Expendables 3"

By Mike Schulz

Sylvester Stallone in The Expendables 3THE EXPENDABLES 3

To date, Sylvester Stallone has played Rocky Balboa on-screen six times, John Rambo four times, and, with the release of The Expendables 3, Barney Ross three times. According to the Internet Movie Database, Rambo V, with Stallone writing and starring, is currently in pre-production, and Rocky is set to return in a new feature titled Creed. In other words, Sylvester Stallone is the very last man you'd want handling the remains of your beloved dead horse.

20 Jan 2013

It Takes a Vile Witch to Raise a Child: "Mama," "Broken City," and "The Last Stand"

By Mike Schulz

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jessica Chastain, Isabelle Nélisse, and Megan Charpentier in MamaMAMA

A new film titled Mama opened this past weekend, and it stars Jessica Chastain. Given the current Oscar nominee's cinematic omnipresence over the past two years, you may be inclined to say, "Well, of course it does." But I'm leading with that information because in addition to being almost insanely prolific, Chastain (whose recent résumé also boasts The Tree of Life, The Help, Take Shelter, and, of course, Zero Dark Thirty) is about as reliable an indicator of quality as this decade's movies have provided. And against considerable odds, not the least being its unpromising January release date, director Andrés Muschietti's outing is a supernatural fright flick of considerable quality - gripping and nerve-racking and sensationally well-made, and yet another showcase for Chastain's stirring soulfulness and remarkable versatility.

07 Oct 2012

Elementary Ghouls: "Frankenweenie," "Hotel Transylvania," and "Taken 2"

By Mike Schulz

FrankenweenieFRANKENWEENIE and HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA

Not two months after the release of ParaNorman, two other animated, family-friendly spook fests can now be found at national cineplexes: Tim Burton's Frankenweenie, the Mary Shelley-like tale of a beloved pooch's magical resurrection, and Hotel Transylvania, a manic slapstick about the world's most comically macabre bed-and-breakfast. And after catching up with the latter titles during a recent double feature, my immediate thought was this: Man, ParaNorman sure was good, wasn't it?

20 Aug 2012

Old Habits Die Hard: "The Expendables 2," "ParaNorman," and "The Odd Life of Timothy Green"

By Mike Schulz

Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and Terry Crews in The Expendables 2THE EXPENDABLES 2

If home viewings of The Expendables 2 are one day turned into a drinking game, and I pray that they are, one of the rules has to be that you chug every time the film employs a thudding cliché from the '80s, either directly or indirectly. A plot involving stolen weapons-grade plutonium? Drink! A team of he-men astonished that a new female recruit can actually do something? Drink! Dolph Lundgren wrestling with a Rubik's Cube? Drink twice!

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