"Happy
Holidays, Jeff!"
"Happy Holidays to you, Mike."
"Guess what I'm giving you for your gift this year!"
"A moratorium on those annoying Jeff-and-Mike dialogues?"
"Ha ha! Good one, Jeff! No. But I'm going to make your job for the Reader's end-of-year issue so much easier - I'm giving you only one What's Happenin' article to edit instead of five!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, what I thought I'd do is write a piece on entertainment options for New Year's Eve, giving readers a list of area venues that'll feature live music or DJs in the hours before midnight. I mean, the bands will also be listed in the paper's Live Music section, of course, but beyond letting people know what bands are playing where, I thought this would be a great way to let people know where the venues are located, and what their phone numbers are, and what time the music starts, and whether or not there's a cover charge, and if there'll be appetizers or party favors or a champagne toast or ... ."
"That sounds fine, Mike, but how many venues are we talking about here?"
"Like 40, I think?"
"And how many words will the piece wind up being?"
"Around 1,100, I guess."
"So this one What's Happenin' piece isn't really shorter than five of them combined, is it? It'll take just as long to edit, and I have to make sure you didn't screw up on 40 addresses and phone numbers. So how exactly is this a gift?"
"Oh, um ... well ... you only have to edit one dumb punchline instead of five, you know ... ."
11st Street Precinct (2108
E. 11st St., Davenport): Tronicity,
7pm, no cover, champagne toast, absinthe available, (563) 324-9545.
Bent River Brewing Company (1413 5th Ave., Moline): DJ Night, 10pm, (309) 797-2722.
Bier Stube Davenport (2228 E. 11th St., Davenport): Dave Ellis, 9pm, no cover, (563) 323-2174.
The Boulevard Reception Hall (1801 10th St., Moline): DJ Night, 9pm, $50/couple with $25 back in drinks, champagne toast, hors d'oeuvres, party favors, (309) 797-6722.
The Corner Tap (4018 14th Ave., Rock Island): Tennessee - Wilde, 8pm, no cover, champagne toast, party favors, (309) 788-8830.
Creekside Bar & Grill (3303 Brady St., Davenport): Mr. Whoopie, 9pm, no cover, champagne toast, (563) 324-4619.
Edje Nightclub at Jumer's Casino and Hotel (777 Jumer Dr., Rock Island): Dueling Pianos: Charlie Bauman & Daina DePrez, 8pm, no cover, champagne toast, party favors, (309) 793-4200.
Enchanted Inn (4815 S. Concord St., Davenport): High Five, 9pm, $3/person, $5/couple, hors d'oeuvres, champagne toast, (563) 386-5680.
Fargo (4204 Avenue of the Cities, Moline): Smooth Groove, 9pm, $25, hors d'oeuvres, champagne toast, party favors, (309) 764-7424.
Greenbriar Restaurant & Lounge (4506 27th St., Moline): DJ Night, 8pm, no cover, champagne toast, (309) 764-2043.
Hal's Wagon Wheel (1708 State St., Bettendorf): Wicked Nature, 9pm, no cover, champagne toast, balloon drop, (563) 344-2516.
Icon's Martini (124
18th St., Rock Island): Lee Blackmon & Tom Rehr,
9pm, no cover, champagne toast, chocolate fountain, party favors,
(309) 788-4266.
The Industry (211 Iowa Ave., Iowa City): Euforquestra, Public Property, Uniphonics, Insectoid, Dead Larry, 9pm, (319) 337-9107.
Iowa City Yacht Club (13 S. Linn St., Iowa City): Hunab, Mad Monks, Mint Wad Willy, 8pm, $10, champagne toast, tater tots, (319) 337-6464.
Kelly's Irish Pub (2222 E. 23rd St., Davenport): Superfly Samurai, 9pm, free Miller High Life toast at midnight, no cover, (563) 344-0000.
The Knights Inn (2604 Central Ave., Bettendorf): The Tailfins, 9pm, no cover, champagne toast, (563) 359-6970.
Lucky's at the Steeplegate Inn (100 W. 76th St., Davenport): Hap Hazard, Corporate Rock, 8:30pm, $10, hors d'oeuvres, party favors, champagne toast, (563) 386-6900.
The Mill (120 E. Burlington St., Iowa City): Dave Zollo & the Body Electric, Dave Moore, 8pm, $15, champagne toast, (319) 351-9529.
Mound Street Landing (1029 Mound St., Davenport): Project Pickle Farm, 9pm, no cover, champagne toast, (563) 323-1200.
Nan's Piano Bar (421 W. River Dr., Davenport): Dueling Pianos with Tony Bargona & Arthur Offen, 9pm, $20, champagne toast, (563) 323-5081.
Northgate Place (1815 E. Kimberly Rd., Davenport): Gray Wolf Band, 8pm, $75/couple, champagne, beer, hors d'oeuvres, (563) 359-9323.
Overtime Sports Pub (3700 Belmont Rd., Bettendorf): Sugar Nipples, 9:30pm, $15, hors d'oeuvres, champagne toast, party favors, (563) 332-2068.
Pat McGuire's Irish American
Grill (3333 N. Harrison St.,
Davenport): DJ Night, 9pm,
(563) 386-0090.
The Picador (330 E. Washington St., Iowa City): Four DJs, 9pm, $5, champagne toast, (319) 354-4788.
Poopy's Pub & Grub (1030 Viaduct Rd., Savanna): Rockster, 10pm, no cover, hors d'oeuvres, party favors, champagne toast, (815) 273-4516.
Purgatory's Pub (2104 State St., Bettendorf): Tripolar Xxxpress, 9pm, no cover, hors d'oeuvres, party favors, champagne toast, (563) 355-2985.
Racer's Edge (936 15th Ave., East Moline): 4th & 20, Tapped Out, 9pm, (309)755-8131.
Rascal's (1414 15th St., Moline): Bill Stage, Rule #1, 9pm, (309)797-9457.
The Redstone Room (129 Main St., Davenport): Family Groove Company, Daphne Willis & Company, 9pm, hors d'oeuvres, $10, (563) 326-1333.
Rhythm City Casino (112 W. 2nd St., Davenport): The Tom Christopher Band, 8pm, no cover, $5,000 King of Cash drawing 11pm-1:30am, champagne toast, (563) 322-8601.
RIBCO (1815 2nd Ave., Rock Island): Funktastic Five, Johnson & Resch, 9pm, $15/person, $25/couple, champagne toast, hors d'oeuvres, (309) 793-1999.
Riverside Casino & Golf Resort (3184 Highway 22, Riverside): Babe Taylor, 9:30pm, $5, champagne toast, party favors, (319) 648-1234.
Rockin' Ham Bar & Grill (1334 W. 2nd St., Davenport): Karaoke Night and Contest, 6pm, no cover, champagne toast, party favors, (563) 322-4944.
The Rusty Nail (2606 W. Locust St., Davenport): NINE-1-1, 9pm, $20 /advance, buffet, hors d'oeuvres, champagne toast, party favors, (563) 386-1900.
Stoeger's Bar & Grill (1520 Washington St., Davenport): The Coveralls, 9pm, (563) 322-1990.
Stooges (908
3rd St., Orion): Third Rail,
9pm, no cover, champagne toast, (309) 526-3050.
Tiddley Tap (340 16th St., Bettendorf): Karaoke Night, 9pm, no cover, (563) 344-2545.
Time Out Sports Bar & Grill (1815 Manufacturing Dr., Clinton): Crystal Voyage, 9pm, no cover, champagne toast, reservations accepted, (319) 242-2290.
Torchlight Lounge & Liquor (2020 1st St., Milan): Karaoke Night, 9pm, no cover, champagne toast, (309) 755-5898.
Uptown Neighborhood Bar & Grill (2340 Spruce Hills Dr., Bettendorf): Mommy's Little Monster, 9pm, $5, champagne toast, party favors, (563) 359-1015.
Happy New Year from the entire Reader staff! We'll see you in '09!