Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds in The Change-UpTHE CHANGE-UP

The Change-Up, in which Jason Bateman's discontented husband and father magically swaps bodies with Ryan Reynolds' perfectly contented slacker dumb-ass, is an appallingly smutty and juvenile slapstick. In the segment that finds Reynolds (in Bateman's body) preparing a late-night feeding for his pal's infant twins - with one tot seen playing with butcher knives and the other reaching into the blender and sticking his tongue into an electrical socket - it features one of the most painfully unfunny scenes in cinema history, and I'm not excluding any given scene in Sophie's Choice or Schindler's List.

Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig in Cowboys & AliensCOWBOYS & ALIENS

A full six writers are credited with the script and screen story for director Jon Favreau's sci-fi/Western hybrid Cowboys & Aliens, which, based on the evidence, averages out to them contributing roughly half a fresh idea apiece. And I'm including the inspiration to call its saloon-keeper, rather than its doctor, "Doc."

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake in Friends with BenefitsFRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

Modern romantic comedies are in such generally dismal shape that I feel ungrateful for wishing that Friends with Benefits were better than it actually is. But while it's impossible to fully dislike any movie that finds a nitwit shrieking "John Mayer is our generation's Sheryl Crow!" or features a couple making a solemn vow on the Bible app of the woman's iPad, I left director Will Gluck's latest thinking that the film had just missed its mark. And that, after two frequently hysterical features in a row (2009's Fired Up!, Gluck's directorial debut, and last year's Easy A), its helmer had just missed his trifecta. Damn it.

Brad Pitt and Tye Sheridan in The Tree of LifeTHE TREE OF LIFE

Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life is total bliss, and I mean that in the term's general and theological definitions.

Daniel Radcliffe and Ralph Fiennes in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows: Part 2HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2

As the end credits began rolling at my screening of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, the (need I say it?) final installment in the film series adapted from J.K. Rowling's beloved novels, I'll admit that I anticipated more applause than I actually heard. Then again, it's awfully hard to clap while simultaneously wiping tears from your cheeks.

Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, and Jason Bateman in Horrible BossesHORRIBLE BOSSES

It's kind of a shame that the Farrelly brothers' Three Stooges movie is currently in the process of filming. Is it too late for the directors to re-cast it with Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day in the leads?

Trassformers: Dark of the MoonTRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

As long as Transformers: Dark of the Moon didn't come off as the worst movie of the year - or rather, the worst movie of several years - it would stand as a notable improvement on 2009's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I'm greatly relieved, then, to say that Michael Bay's latest, ultra-loud toy story is not the foul, nightmarish, jaw-dropping travesty that its predecessor was. Only half of it is.

Cars 2CARS 2

Judging by his voice, vocabulary, and the intensity with which he occasionally kicked the back of my theater seat, I'm guessing that the kid sitting behind me at Cars 2 was about three or four. He would also, for the folks at Pixar and Disney, be perhaps the ideal critic to supply a pull-quote for the animated comedy's TV and print ads, because during the screening's first 20 minutes, absolutely everything about the experience, for this child, was awesome. Or rather, "Awesome!"

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in Green LanternGREEN LANTERN

I won't bore you by trying, but I'm reasonably sure I could devote a few thousand words to what I didn't like about the (presumed) franchise-starter Green Lantern, an effects-heavy superhero adventure that might mark a new first for the on-screen-comic-book canon: Director Martin Campbell's movie is dully sardonic and dully sincere. I only need two words, however, to pinpoint everything I loved about the film: Peter Sarsgaard.

Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams in Midnight in ParisMIDNIGHT IN PARIS

The overall experience of Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, at least for me, can be effectively visualized in one sequence - one shot, really - in this jubilant, intoxicating comedy.

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