Rivals and Departures

I've been dating a guy I really like for a month. He's been in a long-distance relationship with a woman since last spring. They spend a week together every couple of months, and were off and on for a few years prior. She's coming to visit for three weeks next month, and afterward, they plan to part for good, as she'll be working in another country. I want to be mature about this, but if he wants a relationship with me (he says he does), I don't understand this big romantic last hurrah with her. He says it's unfortunate timing, and he has to have this goodbye fling, as it's been planned for a long time. I'm feeling like the consolation prize and question his level of interest in me. Am I being an unreasonable princess?

- Upset

It's crushing to learn that you aren't "the one," just "the one in Kentucky," à la "Stunned wife discovers husband of 15 years has second wife and family in another state!" Of course, your guy not only told you there was another woman but seems to have stopped just short of giving you a dossier of all her flight times and confirmation numbers. So what's next on your agenda? Flying into a rage that the cat you adopted refuses to bound to your gate and bark at intruders or railing that a wino uses the $10 you flipped him to buy Boone's Farm instead of tickets to the art museum?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In an old comedy sketch called "One Leg Too Few," a one-legged man comes in to a casting agent's office to audition for the part of Tarzan in an upcoming show. The agent is as diplomatic as he can be given the fact that the role would best be played by a strapping young man with exceptional running and leaping skills. "It's possible that no two-legged men will apply," the agent tells the applicant, "in which case you could get the part." Don't be like the one-legged man in this story, Aries. While I usually encourage you to think big and dream of accomplishing amazing feats, this is one time when you should respect your limitations.

To download a pdf of the puzzle, click here.

For the answers, check back on Tuesday, September 7, or pick up the September 16 issue of the River Cities' Reader.

For the answers to last week's puzzle, click here.

Event

Craig Karges: Experience the Extraordinary

Centennial Hall, Augustana College

Saturday, September 11, 8 p.m.

The gentleman in the accompanying photo is self-described "extraordinist" Craig Karges. Based on that picture, you may want to think twice about inviting him to your next dinner party.